Clover Lane

I'm the baby, and I turn 44 next month. I have an 18 month old, and I know exactly how you feel. I cried when I stopped nursing, but it was best for me. I don't want to raise her differently than my others, but how can we not.

I just wrote about this topic on my blog. I'm having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that my baby (my last baby) is almost a year old and soon there will be no more babies toddling around. I've loved this stage of my life and don't want to close the door on it, but I can't have babies forever, right? Even if I could, I wouldn't be able to afford them!

Had to comment here, Sarah...I am 43 with a 3 year old baby. And yes...I am parenting her differently, because I am different. I am older now and know for certain that these magical days don't last forever. My 16 year old first born is proof of that!

I am not rushing anything at all. Read "not potty trained yet", and I am also not rushing myself. I am playing more and sitting with her more and watching her play alone more...all because I know this moment won't come again.

I will forever miss those hectic days with 3 littles running around...preschool and story hour and playdates ruling my days. They have been replaced with teens and preteens and driving lessons and cheerleading and soccer.

I am , however, savoring the slower pace of my last little one at home...so yes, I am parenting her with the same love and values and traditions, but differently. And that's ok!

Enjoy her! Oh and when I saw your post title...I started hummimg the Rollie Pollie Ollie song! Remember that oldie? : )

My third (and probably last) is 11 months old and I CANNOT believe he's about to turn one. I'm definitely different with him, although it seems like he's growing up faster than the other two - probably trying to keep up with his big brothers. Crawling early, walking early, teething early - when all I want is to keep him my baby as long as possible. Thankfully he's probably the snuggliest of my three, so I'm trying to take advantage of that all I can!

I have one daughter of my own and 2 step daughters who are grown now. I didn't have my daughter until 40 and it is hard to strike that balance.

I am so glad you are back :) You make me smile...because of course I feel exactly like you. When our baby started walking last month (the latest any of my other babies ever walked), at 14 months, I didn't feel like bragging. When I weaned him (I still remember his last feeding when he looked at me puzzled because I think there wasn't much in there), the day he turned 15 months and then he didn't look for that anymore, I did NOT feel relieved. It was sad. There is something definitely special about the "last" baby. You are right. And there is something special about the oldest and all the others. I love motherhood.

By the way. I love that girl of yours...our last three have been boys and I sure miss the sweet personality of little girls. (this last one. 16 month old, number 5, might not be the last after all...we'll see).
Still wish we were neighbors.
I am grateful for you.
And your blog makes me want to start blogging again.

I know what you mean. I struggled with the idea of "the last one." It's just such a heart-wrenching, tear provoking thought. And time flies too quickly, the older I get.

What helped me most was to accept the fact that it's just in my nature to love babies and always want to have one around. It's always in my heart and always will be. That fact does not mean I should act on that "itch" that I get sometimes even though I could, because we've decided in our heads that it would not be wise. And instead of agonizing over those emotions now (my baby is 3 and not getting any younger), I cherish them, because they are sweet desires, and part of who I am. It took a while to get to this place, but it's not so painful anymore, but rather sweet and wistful.

And I look forward to my grandchildren one day, too. :-)

My baby, who is 3, didn't wake up in the middle of the night to come into my bed...and I want her too!!!

happy birthday!

Your little baby girl is such a dolly! Rolling around already? Seems like you just had her!!

My baby is three and a half and she's still my baby :-). While I've come to terms with the fact that we won't have any more babies from my womb, we are finding ways to still bring babies in our home from time to time and it's fulfilling my baby-need! (You know where to find me if you want to hear more.) I've also become better at being thankful and content through this process. While I wanted more than three, I have so much to be over-the-moon thankful for- it eases the longing:-).

I just turned 50 and my last little one is just 7. It's been the greatest time of my life. His brothers and sisters are 22 down to 13, so he still seems like a baby to me.
I love how you enjoy your daily life with Janey.

This is such a refreshing post and a great reminder for me to cherish each moment with my kids. At 27, I'm just starting my journey with a 17 month old boy and newborn twin girls. Thanks for reminding me to slow down and enjoy each stage. :)

I'm 26 with no children presently, but this post made me think of something my mom's mom told be about how her youngest, my uncle Mike will always be her baby. THE baby. So yes without the years of experience at motherhood I would agree... your baby will always be your baby.

I am my mom's baby. She still introduces me that way sometimes, even though I'm 33 (I love it). She sent me this quote from The Poisonwood Bible years ago and I've never forgotten it. Were more beautiful words ever written?

"A first child is your own best foot forward, and how you do cheer those little feet as they strike out. You examine every turn of flesh for precocity, and crow it to the world. But the last one: the baby who trails her scent like a flag of surrender through your life when there will be no more coming after--oh, that's love by a different name. She is the babe you hold in your arms for an hour after she's gone to sleep. If you put her down in the crib, she might wake up changed and fly away. So instead you rock by the window, drinking the light from her skin, breathing her exhaled dreams. You heart bays to the double crescent moons of closed lashes on her cheeks. She's the one you can't put down.
My baby, my blood, my honest truth; entreat me not to leave thee, for whither thou goest I will go. Where I lodge, we lodge together. Where I die you'll be buried at last."

I'm the youngest-- 27 years old with no kids of my own. My mom has always said to me, "you're still mommy's baby, right?" to which the answer is always a resounding yes. I think this exchange as always made other family members roll their eyes but it is a special bond to be THE baby, something I cherish.

At my wedding last summer, I gave my mother a handkerchief embroidered with the Robert Munsch quote: "I love you forever, I like your for always, as long as I'm living, your baby I'll be." Needless to say, it brought us both to tears.

Enjoy every minute with your baby!

yes, the last baby is always the baby baby. and all the other older kids know it! i am 35 this year and my baby will turn 3, and i am like you, each step of the way pulls another heart string right out of the ole core... for me letting go to all these baby steps and phases, has sure been hard! it's like the last goodbye, always so difficult.

but i look up to you SO MUCH, you have no idea. take care! ♥

Your darling girl is soo cute! Love the photo.

I really enjoyed your post and the comments as well.

My baby is 6 years old and still likes to climb up on my lap (and I'm not complaining!)

I did notice my youngest brother had special privileges purely because he was at the right place at the right time....eg we all bought our cars, but he got to drive the family car without paying for insurance etc because he was the last at home ;)

You know I'm right here with you on that one. And my baby is 4 :( But I try to remind myself of the blessings, like the fact that I sat through my very first little league last night, instead of chasing babies. I can't say I miss those things. But I'd give it up in an instant, of course, to have another sweet baby :)

Right there with you. My youngest is at the same stage as Janey- getting stuck under furniture if I look away for a moment. :). I'm so sad about the fact that he's going to be crawling soon even as everyone else seems so excited about it. I'm trying hard to celebrate these milestones, it's just going by so stinking fast!

Right there with you. My youngest is at the same stage as Janey- getting stuck under furniture if I look away for a moment. :). I'm so sad about the fact that he's going to be crawling soon even as everyone else seems so excited about it. I'm trying hard to celebrate these milestones, it's just going by so stinking fast!

Happy Birthday Sarah, love your blog!

I do feel your "pain". It is bad enough when my big kids grow, but watching my baby follow suite? Oh that just smites.

But then, I am a 42 year old "baby"...

In fact, my aunty at 92 explained that her son, then in his late 60s was still her baby. Maybe we will survive this!

I so relate to this. I just had my first baby (by "just had" I mean 11 months ago) and everyone keeps asking me if he can walk yet. When I say "no" they tell me not to worry, he'll be walking soon and I think "I don't want him to walk yet! I just want to carry him everywhere."

Fact: I've cried before because one day he'll be too big for me to hold and really that thought is just too much to bear.

Sarah, you are such a darling mom, and I love getting a peek into your family life. You make everything so beautiful. xo