I feel like I am still in recovery mode from that extra unexpected week of Christmas vacation. Everyone is back in school, and my washer and dryer haven't stopped since. I tackled the boy's room yesterday-I don't remember when the last time was that I washed all the blankets and sheets and that means it has been too long. I organized their closets and toy bins and shelves and purged (just a little) and vacuumed and cracked open a window to let some fresh air in. It was a balmy 45 degrees yesterday!
Yesterday evening I took the boys for a walk around the block and noticed the sky turning pink. We took a quick ride to the river to watch the sun sink. The river is beautiful but always very scary to me-I don't know why-it's just big and always cold and swift and has a strong under current (or so I hear). There were huge chunks of ice flowing in it. Every time we are near the river I seem to give my kids warnings and try to scare the bejibbers out of them so they never do anything stupid. Andrew said, "Wouldn't it be fun to hop on one of those icebergs and float down?" This of course launched me into, "Oh my gosh you could never do that, it wouldn't hold you, you'd sink and then the cold water would make your heart stop and blah blah blah." He looked at me like I was crazy because he wasn't going to really DO it, he was just imagining doing it. But those imaginings of boy adventures sometimes make my blood run cold.
This little girl-seventeen months old-is showing a little side of sassy pants. She reminds me a little of Abbey when she was little, maybe it's a girl thing. She wants it the way she wants it and if you don't get the way she wants it, she'll have no problem letting you know that you've made a grave error.
She has been helping me organize and clean and straighten which means she undoes about 30% of what I do. I don't think it's a terrible ratio-not enough to make me frustrated or warrant an excuse to stop and she enjoys it so we move forward and she keeps me company.
I've been thinking so much about the 20 years I've been home raising my kids. I love being home, if you have read this blog you know that by now. Not because it's easy, because it's certainly not always, just because I know deep in my heart that babies and toddlers and little ones need their mommies. It's not the 'popular' thing to say because it's against what our culture wants us mothers to believe-that we're replaceable, and I know it's not always possible, in spite of the big sacrifices that most of us at-home moms have made at some point in our lives. I would have and did and still would do absolutely anything to make it happen though. I think nature intended for mothers and their little ones to be close by-it's part of our growth and their growth and bonding and just plain old human development.
I had a whole big essay I wanted to write (not that I haven't written about the subject enough) but I can't because Miss-Janey-Unreliable-Napper-Pants just woke up and I'm going to feed her lunch and then we might take a walk, or finish the wash, or play with her teapot. So that will do for now.
Have you thought about looking on The Wayback Machine site to see if any of your 40 days/40 bags posts were preserved there? http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.memoriesoncloverlane.com/
ReplyDeleteDid your posts on hyperemesis gravidarum get deleted, also? i haven't been able to find them, and they were some of the best I've read on the subject.
ReplyDeleteSorry Dixie-here it is:
Deletehttp://www.memoriesoncloverlane.com/2012/03/hyperemesis-gravidarum.html
Oh those posts... they made me feel sane when I thought I was completely alone. I so appreciate those posts!
DeleteThanks for the link!
DeleteIt sure is fun watching your beautiful little girl grow up! She looks so big in this picture!
ReplyDeleteI've been home for almost 15 years now with my 3 and I wouldn't trade it for any job or money in the world!
I just love your blog and thoughts on motherhood...and I noticed we have the same birthday...go March 9!
ReplyDeletewell..you know how i feel about this :)
ReplyDeleteand boy that janey is growing up too fast! she sure is cute! xo
I handed in my notice last week (my maternity leave has just ended) because I SO agree 100% with what you are saying here. As you say, it's not popular, but I truly believe the best thing for babies right through teens is to have their mums around. Keep on preaching that same old message!xxx
ReplyDeleteWhen I was scrolling down reading this post, I saw the Matthew Kelly book that is on your bookshelf. I just picked up a flier today to see him speak. I have to work the day it is scheduled for but maybe this is my sign to get off work and figure out a way to get there. I love your posts, especially when you talk about being Catholic. I think we are on the verge of something really special with Pope Francis and I have never been so excited for our Church!
ReplyDeleteYou know I wholeheartedly agree. Cannot get over how big Janey has gotten. I think she looks a lot like Patrick.
ReplyDeleteDunno if it's a girl thing, but my Petunia is just like Janey - she knows what she wants and she'll finagle a way to get it!
ReplyDeleteI so agree, there is nothing like having your mum at home when you get home from school. I can even remember that I hated my mum doing housework when I got home from school (especially on the occasion when it was window washing time) she was totally preoccupied! I am with you on the safety issues too. I am constantly talking to my grandchildren about such things, especially a couple of the boys who seem to have no fear, and one particular granddaughter Matilda is just like Janey, she certainly lets us know when things are not right for her and at only 14 months goodness knows what she will be like at two or three!
ReplyDeleteI am so sad about your posts from 40bags in 40days. I am so excited that you are going to try to do it again- it was so inspirational to me. We sacrifice to have me stay home with our 6, and it's the very best thing I've ever done in my life.
ReplyDeleteShe's so darn cute Sarah! Hard to believe she's 17 months. That river would scare me to death too, but it is beautiful. And you know, I feel like I'm committing a mortal sin by not wanting to send my little guy to preschool. Crazy! People in my town put their baby on a waiting list as soon as it's born. Really!!
ReplyDeleteI love that you are bold enough and confident enough to say what you believe.
ReplyDeleteohmygoodness, look how big she is! Amazing how fast it happens!
ReplyDeleteLove your blog! We just moved to Colorado from living in Wyandotte, Michigan for two years- not exactly sure where you are, but the Detroit River made me feel the same way! Beautiful, but scary all the same!
ReplyDeleteYour blog lifts my spirits for many reasons, but today it wasn't that obviously the extended break left a tornado in your house too, or that you have fears of your boys acting on their crazy impulses, or that I'm not alone in toddler hood. Today it was b/c you took the pad off your highchair too. I'm only on baby 4 and it has been gone awhile. So much more practical to have a hard surface to wipe down. ;-) Thanks for all your passed on wisdom, intended and otherwise.
ReplyDeleteglad you commented on the 40 bag thing… I was looking for it again.. it motivates me! Also, I totally get ya on the river dissertation to the boys… I know my kids sometimes can't imagine out loud because I squelch it! Probably shouldn't do that, but as a mom it just leaps out of my mouth. I too have been home raising my kids forever~ the oldest graduates this spring and it really did fly by. I always hate when people say that but how else can you explain it?!! And can we just borrow Miss Janie for a few days? My little Gracie~who is 10~ loves her little self as much as I do, we love watching her 'grow up' on here and get a kick out of her antics. We need another baby in this house but Dad says no,..so I need to babysit I guess to get over the baby fever~ have had it for as long as I can remember…maybe I will lose it when I reach Menopause! LOL!!! Thanks for the update~I needed it today!!
ReplyDeleteWe also removed the cover on our high chair with baby number 4. It started with fruit flies and squished bananas. We never bothered to put the cover back on:)
ReplyDeleteI can relate to so much about this post. But what is standing out is your reaction to the boys' fantasies about floating on an ice chunk. Haha! Wow! I'm still reacting that way and my son is 19! For his 18th birthday he kept saying he wanted to parachute out of an airplane. I freaked out every time he said it. Well guess what?? He did it with my husband and didn't tell me until it was done. Holy cow, no wonder I have to color my hair!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy reading what you write. Your youngest is not only close in age to my youngest, but their personalities sound oh so similar! I love your positive perspective, even when things are tough.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you. I have loved being home with my boys for the past 11 years and wouldn't change it for anything!! That is too bad about your 40 days posts. I loved them and they were so inspirational. As usual your blog makes me feel like I am not alone in my beliefs when the majority of the world around us wants us to believe the opposite. Thanks again for sharing this!
ReplyDeleteJust followed your tips on potty training- worked like a dream. Thanks for the guidance! Curious if you have any old posts on transitioning your toddlers from crib to bed. We're approaching that in a few weeks. Thanks for sharing your experience on this site- really enjoy the blog.
ReplyDeleteYour posts about motherhood always inspire me. They are so calming and insightful. I always go an give my son a big hug and kiss!
ReplyDeleteawe janey, so cute...mothering, sure tugs my heartstrings too...im STILL home with my grown kids...im cooking way more now and they actually like it and DEPEND on it...i dont think im the kinda mom our culture thinks i should be either...but i love it, and you know what they say, DO MORE OF WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY!
ReplyDeletehave a good weekend.
the 40 bags/40 days posts are gone???? Oh no!!! Janey looks exactly like Patrick!! Can't believe she is 17 months already!! That river shot is beautiful, but scary at the same time! hugs, cathy
ReplyDelete