Clover Lane

I always thought I'd be one of those working moms that seemed important, and the reason why I wanted to be one was because of my mother. I wanted to do better than her, and complete my education and go all the way. I wanted to be able to provide the necessities that my mother couldn't provide. Little did I know that "living to work" was not fulfilling, that money didn't buy happiness, and that tiny human beings were (still are) more important.

I have a certificate of completion in Computer Office Technology, and continued my education at Del Mar Community College in Corpus Christ where I majored in Public Relations. I moved to Utah in hopes that I would transfer to a different school, but to no avail. I chose marriage, and to have a family first. 

Growing up my mom worked really hard to support us, and because of that she was hardly around, hence the decision in always knowing that I would eventually be a stay at home mom, but my perspective changed, and even with a hardworking husband I felt that I "needed" to work in order to "define myself" & of course survive. I didn't quite understand the whole concept of motherhood. Truth is that because my childhood wasn't peaches and cream I felt that I would mess it up by having kids. And then the time came in the summer of 1995 when I had my firstborn. 

^^^ Sierra at six months, circa-1995 ^^^

I was very fortunate in landing jobs without a bachelors degree. Being bilingual in the state of Utah sure had its advantages and my confidence grew, and my knowledge expanded with the great jobs I had in the clerical field. I loved working alongside a bunch of sharp lawyers, but there was a point in my life where I was getting burned out. I thought that I needed to make a name for myself, and that money bought happiness. It didn't. I could tell that deep down inside my husband's heart he wanted me to stay at home to raise our daughter, but he let me be. He let me be. We had trial after trial, and even though we had a faith in God so strong we weren't as active in living upon it.

Sometimes a bold act can make you see "the light", and in this case moving to Texas in the summer of 1999 was the answer to my prayer. My husband and I grew even closer to the Lord, and in the year 2000 we unexpectedly had our second daughter. That unexpected pregnancy was expected to happen! Having my second daughter helped me in ways I could never imagine. It was as if she was sent down from heaven to soften my heart to let me know that my place in this world was to be at home with her, and her older sister.

^^^ Sierra (4), Lexie (a few hours old) circa-2000 ^^^

And I did.

Ever since then I knew that my role in this life was to be a stay at home mom for my children. I now have four, and they are the best thing that's ever happened to me. 

I have enjoyed doing the "mommy" things with my last three that I missed out with my firstborn. Changing diapers, going to the park, playing tea party or diner, potty training them on my own, and actually making breakfast for them without having to rush out the door to go to work. I could see it in my oldest daughters eyes that she was happier. Happier that I was the one picking her up from preschool, and not a friend, or relative.

^^^ Sierra (5) Lexie (one year)- circa, 2001 ^^^

I am so grateful for this decision that I made in sacrificing a career to be a stay at home mom to raise & nurture my children. My oldest daughter is now in college and is doing exceptionally well. I see how much goes into those first years, now that I have been home with her younger siblings and I would have loved to been there every day for her first four years.  Children grow so quickly and they are out of our nests before we know it-every day is precious. 

^^^ me and my lovely daughter Sierra ^^^

 I see a huge difference in my children compared to the way my sister and I were raised. We are very bonded as a family, and although we are not perfect we certainly are a family that prides on love, and family time. We strive on living the Christian values that I didn't have growing up. Communication is key especially when one moves far away, and that is something that is solid within our family.  

I am lucky that I hardly received negativity as to why I'm not pursuing a career. There may have been a few people who would advise me to further my education in hopes that I'd be some hotshot working mom, but I know what I am. I am a hardworking mom who tends to these wonderful kids everyday. Today my mother, sister, and mother-in-law, and of course my husband, are happy that I have made the decision to put my family first before any job. I learned the hard way years ago that money does not buy happiness, and how important it is to raise my children first. Nice cars, a big house, and material things will not make the lifestyle of a family better. Sure those are nice things to have, but it's only a temporary happiness that can't be built on love. What's important to me is my children, and they will always come first before any paycheck. 

^^^ me and Noah ^^^

I also know that finishing an education is crucial especially with these next generations today, and I have advised my children to do the same thing, but to know that family is number one. I am fortunate enough to be able to stay at home with my four year old son while my girls are at school, and no matter how old they get I will continue to stay at home "career free" as long as they are living under my roof...and I wouldn't change it for the world. 

Rose blogs here.