"As a former perfectionist Mom, weeks from being an empty nester, let me give one concept to think on that will bring immediate balance. At least it did for me…but later than I wish it had. Imagine an empty house with your kids all grown. All of the have to dos and perfectionism flies out the door when your focus becomes the moments you have left to hug them close as often as you want and be together as a family. In a couple weeks to get my daily hugs the shortest drive I would have to take is two hours. The other child is already three hours away. Obviously not feasible daily.
I am enjoying the extra time with my husband now but I wish I knew years ago just how much it would pain my heart not to have them close daily. I would gladly tear up my precious to do lists for more of that time back. We all know an empty nest comes one day but we put the thought out of our minds to protect our mama hearts. My suggestion would be to keep an empty nest mindset from the start so that we will appreciate the moments more as they happen. Locking in on more play time and less extra nonsense. I hope that helps someone from feeling the regret I feel now. It went too fast and perfectionism stole too much of that time."From a comment left on this lovely post which was written by my friend Sandy.
Oh my goodness. What a great reminder. We have 3 grown kids (26,24,22) only one of which is still living under our roof at all and that is for summer and breaks only, now that he is a senior in college that too will come to an end soon. But.....I feel very, very lucky because we had a 4th surprise baby way after we thought our family was complete. He is now 9 years old. I cannot begin to tell you how much joy that little boy has brought into our home. The reason I feel so very lucky is that I get to do this kind of thing over again! I was just as this lady describes a perfectionist who let those tendencies get in the way of spending time doing fun things with my older 3. While I wish every single day that I could have time back with them that I wasted away doing whatever nonsense I thought was so crucial that day, I feel lucky that I now have that perspective of knowing what it like to NOT get that daily contact and how it feels to want that time back. I love the idea of living each day like the empty nest is just around the corner. This is exactly how I try and live my days with my youngest. We know first hand how very fast these days go by. Great reminder!! Thank you so much for posting.
ReplyDeleteThat dress!
ReplyDeleteoh. great post too ;)
i love this reminder. my kids are 6, 8 and 10 but on the days that they are at school (3 days a week), i am sometimes haunted by the silence in my home. the silence that goes away at 3:30, but someday will stay much longer. it makes me sad, yet grateful that i have the reminder to be ok with the noise....to embrace the precious noise of my three boys for one day soon, I will long for the noise.
ReplyDeletethank you for this blog....my favorite.