"Oh, women in homes, love them. Think of those who are daily torn from homes to stay all day inside closed walls, surrounded with office fixtures-no pretty curtains, no gay cushions, no little piano to drop down to in a stolen moment, no radio to tune in one, no books or magazines to read and sketch from, no real relaxation until night.
Oh, yes there are duties in a home, little children to soothe, dress and feed, and work aplenty. But after all, they are your very own and it's your home. When the suds foam high in the washtub and you hang garments under a blue sky, think just a moment of office workers who long for homes with curtains at the windows, clothes waving in the sunshine, and beets in a jar."
Iowa-October 1933
I have never longed for beets in a jar but I am very thankful for work at home!
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful! I left a high paying and respected profession to stay at home and I am so thankful I did. "They are your very own" is exactly why I did it. There were many other people who could do the job I was doing but no one else who cared as much about my children as I did. I felt so torn when I was trying to do both, and the most incredible relief and freedom when I quit and was able to focus entirely on motherhood. I am thankful I was in a position to make that decision, as I know there are many who do not have a choice.
ReplyDeleteI love this sooooo much! Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteWOW Sarah....although I love your blog and read it religiously, I sure don't like the guilt that you sometimes put on working mothers. I am a Grandma now, but I always worked and I don't feel like I missed anything when raising my children and I have asked them many times if they felt like they missed anything by me not being at home and the answer is always "no way". I always loved my job, but I balanced it well...it made me a better mother. My grandchildren now have mothers that also work and they are doing awesome! Being a stay at home mother is not for everyone....PLEASE don't lay the guilt on those moms that WANT to work!
ReplyDeleteThere is a whole lot of support for working moms; not so much for stay at home moms. After I left my high profile career to stay at home with my kids, I really resented it when people asked me, "But what do you DO?" I read Sarah's blog to get affirmation for my way of life.
DeleteI see in this lovely quote a reminder for those who choose to stay at home to not take it for granted because there may be others longing to stay home with their children who are unable to do that. It's a call to be grateful for the happy little messes around us when being a stay at home mom can sometimes seem mundane. I saw no implication that those who don't stay home ought to wish to stay home. Thank you, Sarah, for the encouraging and eloquent quote! ;)
DeleteI will be truthful and I will tell you that it makes me disheartened that when I support my way of life, and other moms who are doing the same-staying home, that a working mom would want me to stop encouraging a different choice than what she made because it makes her feel bad about her own choice. Working moms are constantly being told that what they are doing is best for them and their children, they have entire websites and a magazine dedicated to their way of life-affirming them of all that they do, but a measly old blog like mine says "stay at home moms, take heart, your work is priceless and necessary and you won't ever regret these days" etc, or like the quote above 'love your homes, appreciate what you have in them, it's not "better" anywhere else" and that's not ok? I always always try to be kind and considerate of all mother's feelings but I won't run from the fear of being condemned for supporting moms who make the choice of being home all day with their children-sometimes (often) a hard, sacrificial, rare choice.
DeleteAlso, if we feel guilty about our choices, then we must examine those guilty feelings. Maybe we can address why we feel that way, and spur a change. Sometimes guilt is good-sometimes it is our heart telling us that we aren't listening to it. If we do feel like what we are doing is best for our family, then no one can "make" us feel guilty it seems.
So I would ask MC, lovingly, for you to understand too, that sometimes we moms who are home all day with our children, especially this younger generation coming up, needs to hear encouragement-needs and wants to hear from someone who has gone before them, that their hard work, their different choice, their long days spent changing diapers and making sandwiches and picking things up of the floor, is acknowledged and desirable, and worthy, beneficial to our little ones and our husbands, and very very important.
I have to say I kind of agree with M/C. I am a stay at home mom by choice. I wanted to stay home and I am lucky enough that my husband has a good job and can support that decision. But I do often cringe a bit when I read some posts that seem to imply that women should do everything they can to make that choice. It is a choice that works for me and our family but I would never assume that it is the correct or best choice for all families. The quote above makes it sound as though working in an office must be miserable. As a stay at home mom, I feel that the brunt of guilt is placed on working moms, not the other way around.
DeleteI think the quote (written quite long ago by a farmer's wife) is really saying to appreciate the beauty of home and not take it for granted. Home is home. If we get to stay there most of our days, even with the work bringing up a family takes, it is to be appreciated for what it is. I do think women should do everything they can to make that choice when their children are little babies and toddlers. I've worked as a sitter, as a nanny several times, and in daycares. I think babies and toddlers are best raised with love, tenderness, consistency and a strong connectedness from those that adore them and have a stake in their future. Of course it's not always possible, but when it is (even with sacrifice of material goods) I think it is well worth putting our desires aside for a short time to do so.
DeleteThank you, Sarah! I am a stay at home mom because of you too, so your example is very precious to me. I'll always be grateful for your blog! Have a great summer! <3
ReplyDeleteI am a young mom of a two boys under two -- your blog has made such a difference in my life. I love reading it because it reminds me of advice my Mom gives, but it's just nice to hear from someone outside of my family that shares similar values. I feel like these encouraging quotes/stories/reflections lift me up and refocus my energy. Your words encourage me to be the best mom and wife that I can be. I treasure your words and am very grateful to you for sharing them. Many days I read and think "this is just what I needed." Like an answer to a prayer!!! Thank you Sarah :)
ReplyDeleteYes! Thank you Sarah! I also find it extremely disheartening to feel like I need to justify the choices my husband and I have made in me staying home with our children. Our three children are now teens and I get SO many snide comments on what I do or how I spend my time from family and "friends". I have found that my children need me at home more now as teens then they probably did when they were younger! I appreciate the encouragement you give through your blog on doing whatever is best for YOUR family!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sarah!! You have been such a great encouragement to me in my motherhood journey over the past six years.:)
ReplyDeleteI loved this. I have felt so blessed in my season of life right now that I am the one who gets to be home with my little boys and watch the garden grow, help my oldest learn to read, and have slow quiet mornings with a hot breakfast every day. What a luxury! What a blessing! The world thinks it's a shame I'm not using my degree, but I feel so grateful that I got to CHOOSE how I spend my time. And right now it's at home, living a simple slow paced life enjoying my family all day, every day.
ReplyDeleteAh, I would like to read that book - both for the quilt and the letters from women in the depression. Although I have experienced challenges in my life, I don't think I can truly comprehend what our parents and grandparents may have experienced during the depression. I see no condemnation in this quote. I see a beautiful reminder to be mindful of what is around us. I am grateful for the years, which continue into adulthood, of being home with my kids. I, unfortunately, am no STEM poster child. By my third year in college I realized I didn't like engineering, but forged ahead while remaining open to many careers in my life. I'm glad I did. I navigated from engineering to marketing and am sure I could have had an interesting career at GE. But I found my calling when my son was born. Even twenty-five years ago there were not many stay-at-home moms, so I found this blog a way to connect with others. Sarah's beautiful, gifted writing is affirming and positive. She shares such wisdom as only a mom of six can! This wisdom is such a gift to young moms.
ReplyDeleteI've been both a stay at home mom and working mom. I too see how that's a bit offensive to the mother who choses to go to work. The price of living is so high where we live it's just about impossible to be a stay at home mother. It's not giving up material goods, it's being able to afford rent. That being said I did mostly work part time when my kids were younger. I would drop them off at the bus and pick them up at the bus and that was so great that I was able to do that. Many women don't have that choice though. My daughter is currently renting a GARAGE for $300 a month, and that's a bargain.
ReplyDeleteI need these quotes Sarah to remind me of what a precious gift I have in being able to stay at home. Because it is a counter-cultural choice for a millennial and often lonely, hard, taken for granted work. But there are many graces. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteSarah, I have been reading your blog for years and have never felt that you made working mothers feel guilty. I admire how you are raising your family. You are confident in the choice you made to stay home and that is comendable. You have a beautiful family. We all make our own choices. To put anyone else down for making their own choices is pointless. I've been fortunate to be both a working mom and a stay at home mom. My husband and I got married in our very late twenties, so I had already been working for quite some time. Then we were unable to have children for the first 5 yrs of our marriage. Additionally, my husband was going to school at the time and I carried the health insurance. Luckily, I had a fairly flexible job where I could work at home occasionally and we had the best babysitter ever who lived next door with her patents, so dropping my kids off every morning was like leaving them with family. They had similar values and views as my husband and I and my children called them Grandma and Papa. Since both my husband's parents had passed as well as my mother, and having an elderly father, we did not have the luxury of having our parents care for our children. As it turns out, both our babysitter and my father passed within 6 months of each other. I had quit my high paying government job to take care of my dad during his last few months. I was able to take my boys with me when school was out to spend time with my dad. After he passed and my boys and I were able to spend the rest of the summer together. We were able to cook together, explore local points of interest and even get caught up on laundry! My boys are all very well-behaved, well-adjusted, God-loving boys. We go to church every Sunday and eat meals together at the table most nights of the week. We routinely get compliments on our boys' behavior from teachers, waitresses, etc. My husband and I make sure we spend time together and don't feel that they lack love or attention. I enjoyed the job I had while I was working and also loved the time I spent at home with my boys. I don't want anyone to feel bad for me for any decisions I made. They were my decisions to make and I don't regret any of them.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Theresa!
DeleteAs a new mom who has only been fortunate enough to stay at home for a year so far, there are many loooong days where I doubt myself. You've been a constant source of positivity and encouragement. I've read your blog for many years (obviously long before I ever had a child of my own) and I appreciate you sharing so much. Thank you Sarah xxx
ReplyDeleteI'm a working mom and don't know what I'd do without your blog Sarah! Because, working in the home or outside, you teach all of us moms how to be great. Thank you so much for sharing your journey and wisdom with us!
ReplyDeleteThis is my new favorite thing ever ever ever. Thank you for sharing!!
ReplyDeleteAnd I hate beets. But I helped my mother can them!
I love the quote "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." If a quote from 1933 is making anyone feel inferior, then the issue lies deeper than the quote. Sarah, I turn to your blog because I LOVE your approach to raising your family. I stayed home with my girls until my youngest was 8, and then I started teaching part time. I consider it the best of both world - I work when they are at school. I am home an hour after they leave for school, and an hour before they come home. It gives me time to do chores around the house and get everything in order, so I can focus on them when they get home. My husband and I make choices that work for us...our family...no one else. Sarah, I applaud you and your husband for raising a beautiful family. xo
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