"If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough."
Meister Eckhart
I have been talking with friends-those with grown children, adult children-about how heart breaking it is sometimes to have them fly out of the nest, but how awesome it is to have them come back and as adults, in some way, shape or form, say thank you. It swells our hearts and is really one of the most gratifying parts of child rearing.
We moms are hard on ourselves-we are quick to look back and say "I wish..". I wish I wouldn't have wasted time on this, I wish I would have trusted my gut more on that, if I had known it would be ok I wouldn't have worried so much, if I had known that would have happened I would have concentrated more on this and on and on. There isn't anyone alive who lives truly without regret-I once wrote a post on living without regret, and realize now in my older age, it's something that, if we are being honest with ourselves, is completely unavoidable. Or if we remain closed minded and ignorant maybe it is possible-but life is about a long journey of learning and no one learns without mistakes, doing, being, trying equals mistakes made a long the way. The effort is what counts in the end.
I want the hard working moms with young ones to know that one day they will experience the same thing-your effort and the time you put into your children, every day, will not go unnoticed or unappreciated. It is so important-I know that now more than ever-it truly is what counts in the long haul. That means sometimes making choices that are completely unselfish and self-donative and that often means long days and even longer nights and also some huge sacrifices but it never means perfection-because perfect parenting doesn't exist.
The acknowledgement of gratitude and appreciation of all that work and time and effort and love is so touching-it means they see us, they notice us who we are to them and what we did and the difference it made in their lives.
(So go thank your mother. Thank you Mom!)
Agree! And it is the small things they will appreciate - home cooked meals, steady traditions that aren't extravagant or flashy, your steady and dependable presence that says you have their backs no matter what, the Times you stuck to your guns and said no... Those are the things I see my friends older kids are grateful for as well as my eldest.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this.
ReplyDeleteI love reading about this topic! My oldest is 10 and I'm glad there is happiness to look forward to even when they are grown and have moved away. I have 4 little ones and often couldn't wait until we could move to the next phase hoping it would be easier. My youngest is now 3 and I'm starting to wish I hadn't wished away the time of being busy. I see the years slipping through my fingers and wishing I could slow them WAY down. I know I need to think about the now and stop worrying about the future or wishing I could turn back time. Just being thankful now in this perfect stage. Thanks for all your amazing wisdom. I LOVE your blog and seriously can't get enough!!
ReplyDeleteMy 20 year old wrote me the most beautiful letter for Mother's Day this past year about how much she appreciates everything I do for she and her three brothers. She admitted that she'd never realized how much I do for all of them until she'd moved back home for a year to go to community college, and saw me through more adult eyes.
ReplyDeleteSo glad that you are back to posting more regularly!! I LOVE your wisdom and love it when there is a new post. This is totally off topic, but do you have any advice for those of us who still have some littles at home, and also have several in school.... and how to handle the hours between after school and dinnertime. My littles and I can have the most peaceful, wonderful day together and things go downhill rapidly once the school kids get home! Maybe you have already covered this topic, but ANY advice would be much appreciated! I have been dreading 4:00 every day and I don't like this feeling!! My older kids have been fighting between each other more and more. There have been so many unkind, impatient words (said by my kids and also myself) and it seems like its getting worse and worse. I need to get a handle on things but honestly, I'm overwhelmed and don't know how to get out of this rut!
ReplyDelete